Why Age Verification Doesn’t Work (And Actually Hurts Children Like Me)

Everyone’s talking about age verification like it’s some amazing solution to keep children safe online. Politicians and regulators keep acting it’s like having a white knight in shining armor to protect us. But here’s the thing they don’t get: it literally can’t work for children around my age (13), and it’s actually pretty discriminatory against children who need protection the most.

I’ve posted about this on social media before, but I left out the most important reason why this matters so much to me. It’s not just that the technology is bad – it’s that it goes against children’s rights and discriminates against children with medical conditions.

My Story: Why I Look Way Younger Than I Am

To really explain why age verification is messed up, I have to share stuff about myself that honestly, no child my age should ever have to put online. I’m only doing this to make a point, and I’d tell any other child my age to NEVER share this much personal info online.

To give the most important details: I am in many ways not typical for my age, especially what age estimation tools look at when confirming someone’s age.

I’m 130 cm tall (most children my age are like 150-165 cm), and I weigh 27 kg (when 13-year-olds usually weigh 40-55 kg). I have a really soft, rounded face that hasn’t gotten that elongated look that teenagers get. I basically look exactly like someone who is 9.

The medical reasons are pretty heavy. I have something called acquired partial hypopituitarism. Basically, trauma (brain injury) when I was little messed up my pituitary gland (it’s this tiny thing in your brain that controls growth hormones). I also had malnutrition when I was in foster care, plus I’m autistic which means stress affects my body differently. All of this together means my body developed way slower than other children.

When I asked AI to analyze all my medical info and photos, it said that age estimation tools would probably guess I’m anywhere from 9 to 11 years old – even though I’m actually 13. That’s a 2-4 year difference, and it’s not something that’s ever going to change.

Why This Breaks Age Verification

Here’s the problem: age verification assumes everyone develops “normally,” but lots of children don’t. The technology looks for things like:

• Facial bone structure (mine is still rounded like a young child’s)
• Presence of body hair, excluding regular hair on top of your head (I have none)
• How tall you are (I’m way shorter than expected)
• Body proportions (my hands are tiny, my feet are small, everything looks young)

But what if you have medical conditions that make you look younger? What if you’re like me, or you have:

• Dwarfism – People with dwarfism often look much younger than they are, even as adults. They average around 4 feet tall and keep childlike proportions.
• Celiac disease – This can seriously delay puberty and growth if it’s not caught early. Children can stay really short and young-looking for years.
• Growth hormone deficiency – Makes children way shorter and younger-looking, just like what happened to me.
• Other trauma-related conditions that mess up your hormones and development

Research shows that even for “typical” teenagers, facial age estimation has a 1-2 year margin of error. For people like me? It’s way worse. I’d probably get locked out of everything and treated like I’m 9 when I’m really 13.

This Isn’t Just a Technical Problem – It’s Discrimination

Here’s what really bothers me: the children who get hurt most by age verification are often the ones who need protection the most. Children who’ve been through trauma, children with disabilities, children from poor families who maybe didn’t get good healthcare early on.

Think about it – I went through foster care, I have multiple disabilities, I experienced early trauma (in both senses) that literally changed how my body developed. And now some politician wants to use technology that would look at me and decide I’m 9 years old? That’s not protecting me – that’s punishing me for having a hard life.

When age verification systems think I’m 9 when I’m really 13, what happens? Either:

1. I get locked out of stuff I should be able to access as a 13-year-old
2. I get treated like a little child online when I’m not
3. I have to give up my privacy and share medical records to “prove” my real age

And I’m not the only one. Research shows that age estimation is more inaccurate for women, minorities, and people with disabilities. So basically, the groups that already face discrimination get discriminated against even more.

What About Children’s Rights?

Children have rights too, you know. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child says we have:

• Right to privacy (not having to share medical info with random companies)
• Right to participate (not being excluded from age-appropriate stuff)
• Right to be heard (having our opinions count in decisions that affect us)
• Right to non-discrimination (not being treated unfairly because of medical conditions)

Age verification violates ALL of these rights for children like me.

Think about what it would mean for me specifically. I’d have to:

• Share private medical records
• Explain why I have growth delays
• Prove that my small size and young appearance don’t mean I’m actually 9
• Give up my privacy just to access normal teenage stuff online

That’s completely messed up. No child should have to expose their medical history to prove their age to a computer.

There Are Better Ways to Keep Children Safe

Look, I get it – adults want to protect children online, and that’s good! But there are way better approaches that don’t require checking everyone’s ID:

• Better content moderation that doesn’t rely on age but removes harmful stuff for everyone
• Parental controls that actually work and let families decide what’s appropriate
• Education about online safety that teaches children how to protect themselves
• Design changes that make platforms safer by default, like better blocking and reporting tools
• Privacy protection that keeps everyone’s data safer, especially children

These approaches help ALL children, not just the ones who look “normal” for their age.

Why This Matters Beyond Just Me

I’m not the only child dealing with this. There are tons of medical conditions that affect how old someone looks:

Dwarfism – Adults with dwarfism stay around 4 feet tall and often look much younger than they are throughout their whole lives.

Celiac disease – When children don’t get diagnosed early, the malnutrition from this condition can delay puberty by years and keep them looking really young.

Turner syndrome – Affects girls and causes short stature and delayed puberty.

Constitutional growth delay – Some children are just naturally slow to develop and don’t catch up until their late teens.

Chronic illnesses – Cancer, kidney disease, heart conditions – lots of serious illnesses can delay growth and development.

Eating disorders – Can halt puberty and development entirely.

Hormone disorders – Like what I have, these can completely mess up normal development.

All of these conditions are more common in children who’ve already had hard lives – children in foster care, children from poor families, children who’ve experienced trauma or abuse. Age verification systems would systematically discriminate against the children who most need protection and support.

The Bottom Line

Age verification isn’t just ineffective – it’s actively harmful to children who are already vulnerable. When you have medical conditions that make you look younger, when you’re a minority, when you’re disabled, when you’ve been through trauma, these systems don’t protect you – they exclude you and force you to expose your most private information.

Politicians keep pushing age verification because it sounds like an easy fix. But it’s not. It’s a lazy solution that puts the burden on children and families instead of actually making platforms safer.

We can protect children without creating surveillance systems that discriminate against the most vulnerable ones. We just need adults to listen to us and choose better solutions.

The fact that I have to share all this personal medical information just to explain why age verification is broken proves exactly why it’s such a bad idea. Children shouldn’t have to become case studies to show that technology discriminates against us.

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I’m sharing my story because this issue is too important to ignore. But please remember – children should never have to expose their medical information online just to make a point about technology policy. The fact that I felt I had to do this shows how broken the system already is. If you’re a child reading this, don’t share your personal details online like I did. Find adults who will listen and advocate for you without forcing you to give up your privacy.