The Quiet You Left Behind

Foreword / Introduction

I think this poem explains itself mostly. My ex-girlfriend dumped me. What I wrote is true—I don’t hate her. I don’t really get people who say they hate someone straight away when they’re heartbroken. It stings like hell, but I can’t just go from love to hate in a second. I feel betrayed, yeah, but that’s not hate.

I feel a bit stupid though, because I started learning to dance just for her. But at least dancing is useful, and my dance partner is a nice girl. Also, just to be clear—the girl in the profile pic on some of my socials is my dance partner. If you know her, please treat her with respect, because that’s how she treats me.

Poem: The Quiet You Left Behind

I remember how you held my hand last week,
like it was something you wanted to keep.
You told me I was your favourite person,
and I let myself fall in so deep.
But now I am sitting here on my own,
looking at your message on my phone.

You said you were happy, you said I was good,
but I guess I was just something to do.
Maybe you liked that I couldn’t speak back,
so you could talk and I’d listen to you.
I was just a prop in the scene you made,
and now that you’re bored, the colours fade.

I trusted you with the scary parts of me,
the shaking hands and the days I feel low.
I thought you were gentle, I thought you were kind,
I thought you were someone who really would know
how to hold a heart that’s been dropped before,
but you just left it right there on the floor.

It feels like you used me to pass the time,
until someone better came walking along.
Was I just a practice run for your heart?
Did I get the rules of the relationship wrong?
I gave you my silence, I gave you my trust,
and you turned it all into piles of dust.

I tried to be everything you said you wanted,
I wrote you the words that I could not say.
I gathered my courage to let you in close,
but you pushed me out and you walked away.
It hurts to realise I wasn’t enough,
even when I tried to be strong and tough.

You didn’t need to lie and say it was fine,
when you were already planning to go.
It makes me feel small, like I didn’t matter,
like I was just part of a television show.
I am a person, I am not just a toy,
I am a broken, confused young boy.

But I do not hate you, I can’t find the rage,
my heart is too tired to shout or to fight.
I hope you find whatever you’re looking for,
even if it means I am out of your sight.
I wanted to be the one that you chose,
but I suppose that is just how it goes.

I miss the way that we sat in the park,
watching the ducks as the water flowed by.
I miss feeling chosen, I miss feeling safe,
and that is the reason I started to cry.
It isn’t your fault that you didn’t love me,
but why did you pretend that we were to be?

I’ll go back to writing my rhymes in the dark,
and hiding the feelings I keep in my chest.
I’ll try to believe that I’m worth more than this,
and hope that my anxious mind gives me a rest.
You taught me a lesson I didn’t want to learn,
about how a cold fire can actually burn.

I wish you the best, I really truly do,
I hope you are happy with who you become.
But I will be careful with who I let in,
I won’t be so open to just anyone.
The silence is louder now that you are gone,
but I have to breathe deep and try to carry on.